My baby...the terrorist

I've come to realize just how precious life is since my son began to walk.

It seems like he knows the most sure fire ways to attempt to off himself. HR is, literally, into everything. When he's not taking a dip in the toilet he's in my pantry lapping up wasted sugar. He doesn't eat veggies but he WILL eat out of the trash.

I recall a time last month when I was trying to prepare dinner, I could hear his frantic voice right behind me. He sounded like he was panicking. So when I turned around and discovered him crawling in place...cooking oil preventing him from moving...I thought I'd lose it.

I quickly scooped him up, tossed him in the tub, bathed and dressed him, threw a towel into the mess, and went back to my lambchops.

5 minutes later *CRASH*. He comes staggering into the kitchen with hands full of his clothes that he got from turning over a clothing bin.

Lawd help me. We ain't gon make it.

I had a baby...now what?

Well? It's been 14 months since I entered this adventurous life of "new mom"...again...after 12 years. What can I say? I've traded my Gucci boots for old navy flip flops, my Georgetown blowouts for the "wet look", my vodka club soda for...well...vodka and whatever the hell is in the fridge, and 2am bedtimes for 2am diaper checks.

With that said, I love my son (just ask my fb/twitter/instagram friends) but sheesh he has NO MERCY!

Lucky for me has, recently, decided to walk which has relieved me from toting 30lbs of adorable bossiness EVERYWHERE he wants to go.

We recently took brysie to get fitted for his first pair of shoes. After getting the size 5WW on his paws...I mean feet, this baby stood in place, stared at his feet, and HOLLERED. :-|. He wouldn't walk for ANYTHING. This continued for days. I'd put his shoes on. He'd stand in place. Cry. Then drop to the floor and crawl. Until...I caught him throwing them in the trash.

Aye, aye, aye! I love him BUT I have his receipts.

Happy New Year! Zzzzzzzzzzz....

Well? Where do I start? LOL

We're ending up the first week of 2012 and I gotta tell you, I'm getting nervous about this Zombie Apocolypse.

Last Saturday, I turned 33 and for the first time ever SLEPT through the new year. I feel so violated and gipped every time I say that out loud. As a New Years Eve baby I have NEVER EVER EVER missed the ball dropping. Well? That I can remember, which doesn't say much.

I usually prepare for my birthday shindigs by partying the WHOLE month. That dwindled to a whole week a few years back. Evidently, this year my goal was just to stay alive. This makes me giggle as I reflect on a recent FB conversation:

FB Friend: So what are the plans for the Bday?
Me: Well this will be my first time getting out in forever so I'm making a full day of it. I'm starting off getting my hair done in Georgetown. My girlfriend is going to meet me for a few drinks. Then I'll probably get a little shopping done and I'm going to end the night bowling
*clicks submit*
*scratches head*
Me: Wow, that sounded much more fun in my head
FB Friend: Yeah, you're definitely a mom now.

LOL

Anywho...Zombie Apocolypse. I definitely don't stand a chance. If we were to experience some sort of Resident Evil, 28 Days Later, I Am Legend, Dawn of the Dead type takeover. Me and my family's asses are grass! 11:30pm on NYE I took my newly prescribed spectacles off, struggled to get my 80 year old knees into bed, turned on Dick Clark and evidently slept the year away. :-l

Happy EFFin New Year. I sure hope those Zombies, Polar Shift, and/or rapture can hold off another year. I want a do over.

32 is the new...32

Is this thing on?

It's been so long since I've taken a moment to document my thoughts that my life has had time to completely change. How so? I could probably name one thing for every degree life has shifted.

Instead of listing 180 reasons I'll fly you in to the basics.

I had a baby! Yeah, a baby! A baby...at 32! That still makes me giggle and as I type this, I suddenly remember that today is the anniversary of his conception! (The fact that I can single handedly pinpoint this is also indicative of my "polar shift".) Having a newborn, at 32, is definitely an experience that I look forward to sharing.

I've moved! Yes, I've ditched the digs of the District and relocated to the burbs. Small house to small apartment. ..and I'm cohabitating! YES...I will definitely be sharing LOTS and LOTS of this!

I've lost quite a bit of weight. Yep. I also now have an addiction to chocolate and all things reminscent. :-l

I'm actually feeling far from my descriptive pen name. FAR, FAR, FAR from Carmen Cosmo.

I got the nickname Carmen back in 2001. My brother would ring my cell phone and I'd be in unpredictable cities. He'd always say "Where in the world are you TODAY". So I took a liking to the nickname Carmen SanDiego. Years later, I would enter the single/corporate/trendy lifestyle of working in Bethesda. The happy hours, exclusive benefits/gala, who's who events from my employer some days prompting me to run to Chevy Chase at my lunch hour to find the perfect cocktail/semi-formal and even formal attire for the evening inspired my "Cosmo". Plus, my personality was somewhat similar to the drink. Feminine but strong, trendy, popular, and of course CUTE! (and I mean that in the most humble sense of the word) lol

I must say, I enjoyed my days as CC but I'm feeling so far from that lifestyle today. I've traded my blowout for a snatchback; my stilettos for oxfords; and happy hour for the good night show on Sprout.

I, my friends, am feeling every ounce of my age. No need to fret, though, this is a good thing. So...bare with me.

Detox: Its not just physical

I'm a little early. LOL Was thinking on the way into work. Decided to share.



In my junior year of high school I made the, sudden, decision to give up meat. Now, I'm not much on vegetables so I had to make a compromise. I mostly ate seafood and an occasional chicken.



Just short of a year, I decided that I was through with that. LOL. No rhyme nor reason – just PLEASE pass the steak.



Lo and behold – I was in for a surprise. I could no longer eat pork. It made me violently ill. It took a while for me to understand exactly what was going on. I thought long and hard about it. When it clicked – ah man? I had gone nearly a year without eating red meat or pork; however, my body was now rejecting the latter.



The body knows best, right?



I came to the realization that it [pork] was no longer good for me; though, temptation often pressured me to test my perimeters thinking "well, maybe if I just eat a little.." but EH EH. My body wasn't having it. I would eventually gain a tolerance for mixed pork (ie pepperoni, some sausages) but pure, rich pork like pork chops and ribs…man? I would see them and not be able to resist – only to pay for it in the end. Stomach cramps, vomiting, nausea (I know its gross but I do have a point).



My point? If you're not already there with me….LOL



Detox is necessary. Alcohol and drugs are not the only things that we put into our "systems" that lead to dependence and negative effects. People and bad relationships can have the same exact affect.



Just like the pork – it's not always apparent.



Realizing what/who your toxins are is very important. Resisting that temptation to divulge in them, is extremely hard. While I may want that slab of ribs OR want to spend a weekend with {insert fling} I know the repercussions. One will make me vomit; while, the other will bring out the absolute worse in me. Both will make me sick.



The lesson: Everything you love isn't good for you.

New Music (DMV Edition)

Where's Me Pot 'o Gold...

This week, the hip-hop world is up in arms about the divorce ruling of Nas and strange estranged wife Kelis.

TMZ Reports:

Nas was ordered to immediately pay Kelis $47,249.42 in back child support for their first son together, Knight Jones.

In addition to that, Nas had to fork over $40,454 in back spousal support and (yes there is still an “and” here) Nas was ordered to pay $10,000 a month in back spousal support until he pays off the $299,015.50 that he still owes Kelis. Nas also has to pay 90% of Kelis’ legal and accounting fees which total 155,787.28 and $48,549.83.

  :confusedface.  The couple wed in an elaborate wedding, in which, the beautiful bride donned a shimmering green ensemble.  The couple sliced a GOLDEN cake.

Gee George?

Doesn't take a genius.

Nastradomus shoulda paid attention to the signs?